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A Penguinmas Miracle

I’m out of this world!

In December of 1967, my mother turned twenty. Two days later, I was born. I always felt as if having birthdays two days apart made us even closer. Mom didn’t have a lot of money when I was very young, which isn’t anything I ever noticed. I never had big parties with lots of friends and elaborate gifts. What I had was a good meal, home made eclairs with ice cream, a few candles to blow out, and a few gifts, which always meant the world to me, as modest as they may have been. What I had most of, however, was love. I always cherished how Mom and I would celebrate together, on the day in between. My birthday has always been my favorite day of the year, thanks to all that Mom did to make it so special.

As I got older, I found out that I’m not the only one who loves their birthday. Mother Airline loves birthdays so much, they make it paid holiday. I love this, as I’ve always thought it best to work on your birthday. None of that taking the day off for me. I want the wishes. I want the dinner and a round of drinks. It’s the following day, which should be taken off- if nothing else than to recover! As Mother Airline ensures, it IS a holiday, like Christmas is the day for celebrating Christ’s birthday, I always wish others a similar holiday-styled greeting. Happy Jasonmas. Happy Lindamas. Happy insert-name-here-mas!
I scoff when people apologize for belated birthday wishes. Are you kidding? Make my birthday more than one day? Thank you, please! When I turned forty, I stretched it out to a whole freaking month! I had friends all over the globe, so I had a party at home in the Bay Area, I had a party with friends in Portland, I partied all month on layovers all over the country. I now see why they celebrate the emperor’s birthday in Japan. Were I emperor, we’d be all be celebrating my big day.
Penguin’s first birthday

Then I hit fifty. All of a sudden, I was of the opinion that maybe it was time to put birthday celebrations to rest, sort of like some people no longer celebrate birthdays, but anniversaries of past birthdays. How could I be fifty? I don’t act fifty, whatever that means. I don’t feel fifty, except when my back is in spasm, my eyes are blurry, I can’t remember what day it is…okay, maybe I do feel fifty!

Really, my fiftieth birthday was just another day. I felt no different at the end of the day as I had from the end of the previous one. Hide my calendar and I would have no idea I had circled the sun fifty times. As I fretted about turning fifty in the weeks leading up to it, the dread soon began to fade. I half wanted to celebrate Penguinmas in a big way, and, as I had done for my fortieth, in more than one location. However, I wound up keeping things fairly low-key.
With Penguinmas being a paid holiday, I picked up a trip to Lima, so I decided to celebrate on the day before, as I had done with Mom for so many years. As the day before came and went, I found some very special things, what came to be known as Penguinmas miracles.
As a stark reminder that this was my fiftieth birthday. I awoke, just barely, and began to stretch. Charlie horse. The pain was mind-numbing, but then I started to laugh. My cats backed up and watched in horror. Such pain and laughter all at once. We start losing our minds at fifty, don’t we? It was a miracle I made it to fifty. What a welcome!
When the pain subsided, I realized that I was hearing rain. It filled my home with that wonderful sound it makes as it hits my roof. My cats don’t normally sleep with me, especially the boy. This day, however, they were both glued to my side. Rain on my roof, a chill in the December air, cats at my side, warm covers, all I wanted to do was remain buried under there all day, but I had a lunch date, so I limped out to prepare for Penguinmas.
Driving in the cold rain across town was nothing in order that I could have a wonderful lunch with a good friend. We met at a nice pizza joint near downtown. The rain was relentless, which is not the type of weather I normally enjoy being out in. Rain is normally for naps under the blanket with cats and an old movie, pretty much the way in which my day had begun. Lunch was had, as well as a wonderful conversation. Better yet, it cost me nothing. For this, I’ll venture out any time, birthday or not, rain or shine.
Mom and both of my grand parents dote over me.

Next on the day’s agenda was drinks with one of my longest-time friends. Living in a high rise downtown, I always enjoy the views of one of my favorite skylines in the world. My love of architecture was born in Houston, because of the modern buildings, and they still catch my fancy. I love being in their midst. My friend and I had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, and he then treated me to a show. While not a huge fan of Winona Judd, I thoroughly enjoyed an evening listening to her tell stories between songs and carols on a stage, which was illuminated by several Christmas trees. It left me feeling very festive.
After the show, the fun continued by meeting a work friend for yet more drinks. I’m not a fan of bars, or the bar scene, but it’s fun to be out and mingling with the other humans. Since it’s something I do so infrequently, I quite enjoyed it.
Then came my favorite- SNOW! I know, in Houston! It was a Penguinmas miracle! It started to come

My grandparents just after the original Penguinmas

down around 10:00pm and it did so for quite a while, in large flake-clusters. The bar emptied for a few minutes as patrons, with phones in hand, set out for the photos that lit up social media. I’m not exactly a newcomer to snow, so I stayed put, sucking down my brew.

I remember it snowing in Houston when I was very young. Mom even picked me up from school early so I could go home and play. Now that I am a homeowner, it was nice to come home that night and see my lawn turned white-my roof as well. Nothing calms like snow. I’m such a penguin!
Penguinmas Eve turned out to be such a special day, but that would soon pale in comparison to my Penguinmas morn. This would leave me feeling like that Japanese emperor, and all of my fans were celebrating. I had so many calls, texts and greetings on social media, it took me over two hours to view and respond to them all.
Around my third birthday, possibly the year it snowed in Houston

It was the first time I’d seen this on such a grand scale. You see, I’m not very computer literate. For years, I have taken a few moments each day to wish friends a happy birthday on social media. Facebook is great at letting me know the day and rarely do I miss anyone’s big event. I’ve noticed in the past few years that I get far fewer greetings than I feel I deserve. I have invested a lot into celebrating friendmas’s, so I feel I’ve been on the short end of the stick with the comparatively few wishes I receive in return.

Recently, I was informed that my Facebook privacy settings were compromised, so I did some poking around. I found a box that was not clicked, something about displaying my birthday publicly. I clicked it. I have over 600 friends on Facebook who previously had not been getting the Penguinmas notification because that box had not been clicked. The flood gates were now opened. Of course, what resulted was me realizing that in the past, people had been recognizing my big day without being reminded by the big computers at Facebook central. This really made me feel special. I hadn’t been ignored the past few years, I was truly being honored by friends who knew of Penguinmas without the reminder.
Adding to the many emails of the day, a few years ago I figured out that most restaurants have birthday clubs, many of which present terrific birthday offers. Sometimes it’s a buy one get one free deal, which I had used for Penguinmas Eve. Other times it’s a free dessert with purchase. There are a few places that flat out give free food! I’ve always loved going to Denny’s on my birthday for my free breakfast. I normally do this alone, after all, who wants to go to Denny’s to celebrate a friend’s birthday? I say that every year, but as I’m sopping up honey with the fluffy pancakes, I’m always impressed at how good the meal is. I get a free BBQ sandwich from Dickey’s, a free slider from Zaxbies (they used to give a free combo meal), and Red Robin throws in a free burger with endless fries. I get so many deals, I don’t normally get to use them all.
Penguin and his mama

Eager to earn those holiday bucks, and milk my big day even further, I was ready to go to work and fly to Lima. When I got to work and checked my drop file, I found another Penguinmas miracle. I had recently attended the retirement celebrations of the 747 aircraft in Honolulu. I was sad to see her go and as an aviation enthusiast, I wanted to get my hands on the swag being offered. There were gift bags, special booklets and even commemorative pins to wear. Some of the swag was very difficult to get a hold of, so I had put out the word that I was seeking them. A flight attendant based in Hawaii found some swag, both relating to the 747 retirement, as well as from other aviation-related events. When I got to work, there was a large envelope full of neat little things, such as Mother Airline playing cards, pins, special aircraft engine coins and a lovely note. There was also a nice birthday card from my supervisor.

At the end of the day, I had extra cash in my wallet thanks to Penguinmas holiday pay, an inbox full of well wishes, a few great memories, some free meals, and I was in Lima, Peru. I joined some flying partners at the bar. It was past midnight, so Penguinmas was officially over, but the celebrations continued and I had a couple of drinks thanks to my crew. I may still organize a little celebration in the spring to be with my friends who live on the West Coast, but even if that slips past me, I had the kind of birthday I would be envious of. I’m glad it was mine, made special by the many people in my life who bring me joy. It really was a Penguinmas Miracle!

I feel like a king on my birthday
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Adventures in Life: My Penguinmas

The littlest Penguin! I was so cute!

I had the funniest birthday call of my life today. I’ve always said that my brother is one of the funniest people I know. He called from work to wish me a happy birthday, the third person to do so to that point. I told him about missing the call from Mom and Dad first thing this morning. You see, when they called, it came up as unavailable roaming, so I didn’t answer. (I actually sort of forgot it was my birthday when I woke up!)
A few hours later, the phone rang again and it was unavailable, but I chose to answer. It was Mom, asking if my phone said it was unavailable. Upon hearing that it was, she got flustered and announced that she would call me right back, but then flung a quick, “Oh, and happy birthday!”, at me before hanging up. Within a minute the phone rang once again, and there was Mom, asking what it said. “Unavailable.”
Jason asked, “What did Mom think she was going to do to change what your phone said?” He next mimicked her talking to her phone, “Hello, this is Linda calling my son, Penguin. He knows me…”
Earth to Penguin!

I’m dying laughing. “I know, right?” I banter back. “It’s OK…I’m his mother…Leela calling my son Penguin…”

Mom calls herself, “Oh Revered One,” but Jason thinks it’s more like “Oh Reversed One”. So with this new detail of imagined interaction between Mom and her phone, I said that she told her phone she was “Oh Known One,” hoping that my phone would know who was dialing.
Somehow, we got on the topic of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry talks about the agreement we have with pigeons. They get out of our way, and we don’t bother them. But every now and then, the protocol is broken and chaos ensues. I was about to fall out of my chair in stitches! Our imaginations have always done us justice for a good laugh! Thank you, Brosef.
Next, my grandmother called and as she has done every year for the past 47, she gave me a wonderfully upbeat birthday greeting. She then launched into the story of she and my grandfather being present when I was born. I don’t get this story every year, and I’m not sure how she goes about selecting the years I get it, but it’s always nice to get the refresher.
“I got the call that your mother was in labor,” she starts, “and I had to call Poppy at work, who rushed home right away. We then drove to the hospital and were able to be there when you were were born. Later, we went to your dad’s apartment and Poppy pulled me close and said, ‘Come here, I want to see what it’s like to kiss a grandmother!’” My Poppy, he was a romantic!
She’s so cute, and wants to know what I’m doing for my birthday. This one wasn’t super exciting. I’m on call at work, but knew I was not going to be called, so I had a few chores to do around the house; vacuuming, arranging, laundry, cat boxes, etc. I had a coupon for Hooters, so I told her I’d be going for free wings for dinner. She was happy to hear I was doing something fun.
Another highlight of my day was the call from my Aunt, Glenda. I don’t hear from her as much as I’d like and she has the most wonderful, sultry, sweet southern accent of anyone I know! She lives in Dallas and I’ve only seen her once in the past 10 years. It’s so sad, and I promised to work on that. Now that I’m back in Houston, I need to just drive up for a visit! It was so nice to hear her voice and know that she thought of me today.
A few friends

Most of my wishes came to me via my only social life, currently…the dreaded Facebook! I did also hear from a very dear friend in LA and a few other close friends who wanted to let me know I was thought of.
Best birthday phone calls…ever!
The kink in my day involved my new kitty, Cusco. I was cleaning the cat box, and I’ve found out in the few months that I’ve had him that he’s the kind of cat who is fascinated with watching me clean his box. He watches with great interest, but today, he got right in it.
“Cusco!” I said, “I’m still cleaning that. Can’t you wait? OK, well, I guess not,” as he started in on number one. I waited and tried to look away, to give him some privacy, but he didn’t seem to care one way or another. I know I would want my human to give me that courtesy.
After scratching around, I could tell that he was now about to issue number two.
“Oh, come on! Cusco…really?” He ignored me as he found the prime position for doing his business. Unbelievable!
Kitty Cusco

When he was finally done, I started to finish my task in scooping the cat diamonds when I noticed in his fresh deposit, disgusting little whitish worms. Ugh! I got a small plastic baggy, knowing the vet would love to inspect it, and called for an immediate appointment.
After a very positive visit with the vet, I got him settled back in at home and left for dinner. I’d not been to Hooters in a long time. I used to go there often and I had received a birthday gift from them for free wings. I sat with my nice, cold Blue Moon and posted on line about my enjoying wings and a lap dance. The wings were spicy and the lap dance was my napkin, but that was the best action I’ve had in a while!
Young Batman Penguin

It was good day and I don’t feel any older. (Not that I really could! How the hell did I get this old, any way? That little boy I used to be is still lurking inside me constantly trying to get back out. I think he wants to watch Batman and play with Legos and Star Wars toys!)

My birthday…It was a Penguinmas Miracle!
Jedi Penguin