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View to a Thrill: Checking Inn

A Marriott

Inside Voice has a sassy personality that I can’t always control. I try to keep Inside Voice silent, but sometimes it just blurts out. Inside Voice’s favorite response to the question, “Does Mother Airline pay for your hotels?” is, “No, we sleep in the terminal in makeshift shanty towns of lost and found coats and jackets and old seat cushions.” Inside Voice can be so sassy. Of course Mother Airlines provides for our hotels.
It’s said that back in the day, flight attendants had to bunk up and share a room. Today, our contract provides language of certain expectations for our hotel layovers. They must be of a certain standard (sorry, Best Western and Howard Johnson, our standards are high), be located in a safe environment, have food available, provide Internet access, provide no smoking rooms and a room for each crew member. Bunking up is strictly at the whims of the crew involved. (And yes, there have been times I’ve willingly bunked up, but that is for a completely different series!)
Most of our crew hotels are of the caliber of Marriott, Doubletree, Hyatt or Sheraton. One of the things I enjoy about my job the most are the layovers. I love the chance to get out and explore, engage in new cultures, see how people live and work, and enjoy a nice hotel room. Some hotels are fantastic to stay in. Others are quite mundane. Only a few were bad enough that I would never wish them on anyone else! (I’m looking at you DC.)
Almost any crew member will readily admit that there is nothing better than staying in a hotel that is attached to the airport. Not having to wait for the van, tip the driver or spend time in transport, are a huge bonus! It’s a fairly rare, bonus, however, as most of our layovers require the van ride.
My favorite hotel chain is probably Marriott, although I love the free cookies when you check in at a Doubletree. But with Marriott, you know that no matter what city you’re in, you’re going to have the same basic room…down to the same desk and lamp. It’s sort of nice to have that expectation. Of course, that doesn’t help in trying to figure out in which city you’re in. “Wasn’t I in this room last night?”
I’m often hear jealousy from others of all the room service I must take advantage of. Room service is a nice luxury, however, if I were to do it on a regular basis, I’d need another job to support the habit. Yes, most hotels give us a small discount- usually 15%. But most hotels tack on a 20% charge plus a fee for the opportunity to have someone bring your meal to your room. I’ve only taken advantage of room service at a hand full of hotels; once when the crew discount for food was 50% and perhaps a few times when I just didn’t feel like getting dressed and going down for food.

The Peabody Hotel in Memphis
I’ve found a routine in entering a room and I’m not sure if I should attribute this to be slightly anal retentive or just comforted in having a routine for the many hotels in which I stay. Number one is safety and locating my exits in case of emergency. I enter the room and inspect it for intruders and odors. I refuse rooms that still have a lingering odor of cigarettes.
Off comes the tie and my airline ID badge, then the shoes. As I take off my watch, I verify that the room’s clock is correctly set; you’d be surprised at how many times I have to adjust a clock. After this, I adjust the thermometer. I like the room to be between 67-70 degrees. In a hot locale, I may turn it down as low as 60!
Now it’s time to lose the uniform, hanging it in the closet. Then I set out the items in the bath room on a washcloth; toothbrush and paste, comb, meds, deodorant, cologne, cotton swabs, liquid soap (I bring my own so I don’t waste the hotel’s on a single use) and like a rock star’s dressing room, it’s always set out in the same fashion. After all, I am a rock star. Of sorts.
Once this is complete, I may need to facilitate…or as some might say, use the oval office. Usually, when I get to a hotel room, I’ve been working a long day—as long as 16 hours. Airplane lavs are disgusting and I avoid having to sit in one at all costs.

Not every hotel has a heliport…but this one does!

As my name-sake might suggest, I don’t like a lot of heat, so the next thing I do is remove the down comforter from the bed. When I started this job 15 years ago, it was rare to see down on any hotel bed in the US. But today, 99% of the hotels in which I stay have down. It gets old ripping the bed apart and making it back every time I’m in a hotel room. The only times I can handle sleeping under a hot down comforter is when I make the room 60 degrees or colder!
It’s at this point that I can do what I need to do. On a short layover, that means going right to bed, as by this point I may have an alarm set for as little as 6 hours later (Flight attendants often have only an 11 hour layover, which is block-to-block, meaning once you subtract deplaning, getting to the hotel, checking in, doing the above settling in, getting up, showering, dressing, getting back to the airport and starting work an hour prior to takeoff for passenger boarding, you’re only left with 6-7 hours for sleeping!)
If sleeping is not necessary right away, I’m usually on my computer to write a story, checking email or chat with friends all over the globe. When I have a longer layover, I really love getting out to explore and take photos or working out in the gym.

Exploring on a layover in Pittsburgh

They are our chance to recharge. They are our home away from home. They are nice, comfortable and if we’re lucky, close to things we enjoy doing if we have enough time to do them. Yes, a nice hotel after a long day flying the skies is just the thing needed between flights.

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My Favorite Things: Ferrying a Flight

Takeoff from San Francisco International

Since my days in training I’ve heard the stories; zooming down the aisles on serving trays or standing at the back wall of the plane during take off, kicking back and watching movies in first class seats; singing songs over the PA system; party in the back, sleeping up front. The reasons vary for the need; mechanical issues, aircraft positioning, apparently it once happened after someone relieved themselves in the aisle – toxic land mine! It’s always been a dream of mine, and in 15 years, I’ve only had one incident of doing it… ferrying a flight.

A ferried flight is one in which there are no passengers; only crew. Often, aircraft are ferried with only pilots, but occasionally, flight attendants are also needed to accompany a ferried aircraft. I think all flight crew enjoy the chance to ferry a flight.
Many years ago a pilot told me a story about ferrying a flight. There were no other crew members other than the two pilots. There were carts installed in the galleys, but they were empty. During the flight, the pilots got a hankering for a hot cup of joe. The first officer went hunting but couldn’t find any coffee.
Upon entering the lav, he did find a pack, hanging on the hook. He decided to make a go of it and brewed a cup of coffee. Some flight attendants will hang a coffee pack in a lav that has particularly bad odor issues. He told me that once he tasted it, he realized how effective they were in doing so. He told me, “Every scent that was in that lavatory was now in that cup of coffee! I nearly lost my lunch!”
The morning I got the call that I was on a crew to ferry a flight, you’d have thought I won the lottery! I was a bit crest-fallen when learning that the flight was only from San Francisco to San Jose, which is only an hour drive…in traffic.
I showed up at the gate and met the rest of the crew. It was neat being able to board and just leave when we were ready; no passengers to board. We were to pick up our passengers in San Jose and then work to Denver. I was clearly the most excited of the five of us.
We completed our safety checks and briefed with the captain. He reminded us that we still had to arm the doors and then he said the magic words, “If anyone would like ride in the cockpit jumpseat, we’ll only have one available, just let us know. The others had no interest, but I was like a boy being told I could open Christmas presents two whole weeks before Christmas!
Beautiful Day in SF

After arming my door, I took my seat in the cockpit and strapped in. The captain had also said he’d leave the door open so the others, who were seated in the first class seats, could have a view. I’d been able to take off and land in the cockpit during training, but if you’ve been reading my stories, you know how much I love aviation, and being in the cockpit is the best!

It was a beautiful day in the Bay Area. We taxied and took off and as the plane’s nose arched upward, the cockpit door slammed shut. Unable to reach it, it remained closed until we were safely in the air, at which time the others offered their complaints of not being able to see the takeoff.

The sad thing about the short distance of our ferry flight was that we only reached an altitude of about 8,000 feet, but the aerial tour going down the coast was fantastic. The Pacific Ocean was on my right and the bay on my left, with the hills, the highway, Stanford University and Moffett Field, once the home of huge blimps and an airfield that still (at that time) housed their huge hangars.
In no time at all we were landing from the south at San Jose, and after taxiing to the gate, there was no wait for the passengers to board; scheduled departure had come and gone and we were coming to the rescue. It was sort of awkward going from such a fantastic experience to suddenly having to work!

High above San Francisco
I’ve not given up hope for the opportunity to ferry a flight longer than half an hour. A whole aircraft with nothing but crew, access to movies, cooking your own meal at your leisure, hanging out in the cockpit…ferrying a flight…it’s my favorite!

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Adventures in Flight: The Blue Room

Fifteen years ago I became a flight attendant and began a new career in the skies of the world. I have always loved flying and have had a fascination with aviation since I was a small boy. My eyes always turn upwards when I hear the roar of a jet airplane overhead. The thrill I felt was obvious and in those early days of internet, I would write my friends and family about my new adventures flying hither and yon around the world, so blue.
At one point, I asked if anyone had any questions for the new flight attendant in their life. I always interrogated pilots I met about how things worked and what their work life was like. I just assume everyone is as excited about flying as I am. I think I had only one question, from a very good friend of mine who had recently moved to Chicago. She asked me about the lavatory.
Also known as the blue room, a reference to the royal blue color of the water that flushes the toilet, the lav is a unique place on an airplane. It’s only a step above a porta-potty and I try to avoid using it as the oval office at any cost- only in emergencies. Many flight attendants carry their own air freshener to combat the assortment of odors that emanate from within one. And here is a tip for those times you just have to have a seat: use the seat covers to line the bowl to prevent anything untoward (poo) from sticking and not washing down. There’s nothing worse than going in and finding claw marks from the person ahead of you.
My friend, Sue, wanted to know when flight attendants used the lavatory, as she apparently had never seen one do so. Silly girl. When we receive our wings, we become gods. Using the lavatory is no longer a necessity. I wish! I do refer to those who don’t have a career in the skies as mortals, but we certainly do use the lavatory on airplanes. Elsewhere, too.
It’s funny, but to this day, some 15 years later, I still think of this question whenever I slip into one. The things our mind holds onto. (Don’t tell her I think of her every time I’m in there!)
After takeoff
The short answer is that we get up out of our jump seats before the seat belt sign is turned off. One of the reasons, besides getting ready for the service, is to jump in the lavs before the line forms, going up the cramped aisle. Some of the women also need to change their shoes; off with the heels and on with the work flats. Some of us wear smocks. So this is the time, when the mortals are still required to remain seated, for us to get in there and get situated before we get inundated with the passengers. It’s why you may hear a stern warning if you’re up before the sign goes off, “Um, hello, the seat belt sign is on, see the little seat belt symbol all illuminated? Yes, so turn around and go back to your seat and wait for us to use it first!” 
The same goes for landing. The seat belt sign comes on for several reasons. Yes, as we pass through cloud layers into in the arrival city to which is our destination, we tend to encounter more turbulence. But we also need to have access to the aisles to conduct our safety checks, run paperwork to the purser in first class, and have a moment to use the lavs once more before landing. No one wants to encounter the rare emergency landing with a full bladder! Imagine the horror of being on the nightly news after having evacuated an aircraft with a huge wet stain on your pants.
“Yes, Steve, as you can see, we have another case of fearless flight attendants who were just doing their job, evacuating everyone safely, with no injuries to report. Here is one such brave flight attendant, who seems have to wet herself in the process. Well, back to you in the studio.”
Approach into EWR
So do as your parents taught you, use that time before the boarding process begins, and use the rest room before you board the aircraft and give us a chance to do our thing before you have to do yours. And be careful about you ask a flight attendant. You may ruin a good memory of yourself! (Just kidding, Sue!)

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Passenger of the Day: The Rotarian

Often, when I’m tired, I get a bit loopy. I’d been up before 6:00am for 4 days in a row and this was a long day, starting in Houston, flying to Phoenix for a 2-hour sit, then to Denver for nearly 3 hours before flying back to Houston; not my favorite kind of day. Three legs in a day is rough with 3 boardings (for which we are not paid), 3 galleys to set up on 3 different planes, long sits between flights (for which we are not paid), and 3 times taxiing out for takeoff on the jump seat trying not to nod off. It was a long 13 hour day for which I was only paid for 7. It’s a damned good thing I love my job!

One of the ways I combat such a day as this is to allow myself the chance to be a bit silly. I flirt a little with the ladies when doing the exit row verifications by asking if they are over 15, and asking the men if they are intoxicated…yet. When asking if they are willing and able to assist with the emergency exits I end by asking that they not ‘practice’, which always gets a few chuckles. I chat up the children, asking if they are out of school, where they are traveling to, and if they’ve flown before. I enjoy conversing with passengers, making them feel welcome and comfortable and trying be humorous when I can.

At one point in the day, and I don’t remember which flight this was, because they all tend to blend together, I met Bob. He was somewhere in his 60’s with thinning hair and a mustache and had come to the back of the plane to use the lavatory. What I noticed about Bob was his bright shirt, on which were elephants, birds, zebras, gazelles, and lions and a somewhat tropical design. It was much like a Hawaiian shirt, but for the African animals.
The lavs were occupied, so while he stood there I complimented his shirt. He told me that he had at one time lived in Africa. Intrigued, I asked where in Africa, and he tried to explain the area west of Victoria Lake and he then got very nostalgic over how beautiful it was there. I admitted that I would absolutely love to see it.
Then I noticed something else about his shirt; something not entirely noticeable from a distance. Within the pattern were also rotary symbols from the Rotary Club. He was impressed when I asked about this, and eagerly acknowledged that he was a member. This opened up an opportunity for me to share my Rotary Club experience.
When I was in high school, I was involved in a youth leadership organization which allowed me the opportunity to speak to the Dallas Rotary Club members several times. I had achieved a type of acclaim to where I was soon being invited to events to meet high rollers in industry and politics at various social and networking events. I once had breakfast with the female CEO of the Chesebrough-Ponds Manufacturing Company, who would later donate money to our organization. I shared appetizers with Governor Ann Richards. I met bank presidents, city mayors, actors, athletes, car dealership owners and members of congress, often speaking in front of large groups of people thinking very little of it.

Being congratulated by a delegate after winning office in 1985
I found it somewhat natural to be in front of these people talking about myself and my involvement in student politics. Not only was I on the student council of America’s third largest high school, but I was an elected officer to a state-wide leadership role in HERO- Home Economics Related Occupations (in those days, I wanted to be a chef).
It was through these talks and interactions that I lost any fear of public speaking and now allows me to make announcements on the plane standing proudly in the aisle and facing the passengers instead of hiding behind the bulkhead, as many flight attendants do. Years later, when I was the general manager of a multi-million dollar business, I found it easy to speak at various business council events in my town, networking with other leaders and promoting my business.
But I’ve never forgotten my breakfast meetings with the members of the Dallas Rotary Club, held in a fancy restaurant on the grounds of the Texas State Fair. Their interest in me and numerous invitations to come speak at their breakfasts opened many doors.
I thanked Bob for his involvement with the Rotary Club, which had been so generous to me. He looked a little surprised at this, so I continued, “The Rotary Club gave me 2 college scholarships, and I’ve never forgotten what an honor that was.”

Bob smiled and said, “You should become a member. It’s a great way to serve the community.” He told me how it’s no longer reserved for business leaders. Their membership started to shrink so they opened their ranks to just about anyone wanting to join. He said they even allow women now, after apparently losing a court case.
I assured Bob that I’d look into it and then a woman emerged from the lavatory. He started to enter and I told him he was going into the woman’s lav. He did the usual shocked body-jerk when you tell someone this, and then I laughed, “I’m kidding Bob!”